What I'm worth

I've had some interesting conversations regarding my deployment over these past few days. The first one was with my professor, who inquired if there was anything the Chemistry Department could do to prevent me from mobilizing. The other was with one of my friends, who happens to be well-connected in the political arena. He is planning on writing some letters regarding the misallocation of important resources in fighting this war in Iraq. While I am genuinely flattered and humbled by other people readily coming forward to fight on my behalf, I most regretfully cannot accept it.

Its an important distinction that must be made here. Its not that I feel I'm too good for their help, or that I believe their efforts to be futile. It certainly isn't that I desire to spend a year of my life in a desert, while my research stagnates and the lives of my friends and family go forward. The heart of the matter is the simple fact that I am, and will always be, a United States Marine. In accepting that title on the day I earned my Eagle, Globe, and Anchor, I also accepted 233 years of tradition and history. My direction and motivation changed, as I sought to live my life by the values of honor, courage, and commitment. Perhaps above all, my loyalty now truly lies with my God, Country, and Corps, and the words "Semper Fidelis" ring home with remarkable clarity and power.

"Semper Fidelis" is Latin for "Always Faithful." It is the motto of the US Marines -- a creed by which we live, and if necessary, by which we will die. It means not only will we never flee from battle nor surrender, but also that we are fully committed to our loved ones and to each other. This is the crux of the situation, for it seems that everyone who seeks to keep me here has the belief that my life is worth more. They believe the Marines will not use me to my full potential, that I can do more good through my research, and that someone else can fill my position. Well... there is always more to research, and though the Marines will undoubtedly view me as a filled quota, I cannot help shake the feeling that I may have been given warrior spirit and that this may finally take me to where I truly belong. Sometimes I feel as though I was born to be a Marine. But as for my life being worth more... I cannot help but feel nothing is farther from the truth.

I am reminded of a scene from Braveheart. William Wallace has just spoken with the Scottish nobles following their first defeat of the English army. As the nobles break down into squabbling collections, Wallace leaves the hall and starts returning to his men. Robert the Bruce, perhaps the one man behind whom the nobles would unite, chases after him. In the dialog that follows, Robert the Bruce implores Wallace to be patient with the nobles and reminds him that in a war with England, they have much to lose. Wallace's reply is perfect: "Does the commoner stand to lose any less if he falls in battle?"

What is it that would make my life worth more than another man's? Friends? Posessions? Education? While they are all important, none of them really matter. If anything, being a Corporal and having Marines under my command makes my life worth less, as I know I would die for any one of them, just as they would die to defend their friends, family, and each other. That was the Spartan way, and that remains the Marine Corps way, because when diplomacy fails and the enemies are no longer imaginary, your life depends on the Marine to your left and right. "Come back with your shield or come back on it..." "He who sheds his blood with me today shall be my brother..." "Greater love hath no man than this..." Throughout history, the life of another has always been worth more than ones own.

So let me be a quota. Let me stand post. It means another Marine will be able to stay home with their loved ones. It means that in every American conflict my family will have been present, and I will not have to wonder if my life has made a difference. It means I will have placed my offering upon the alter of freedom and the sacrifice is mine alone to bear. So please, if you remember nothing else, know this: Ones life is worth only what it can be given for. My family, my friends, my Marines, and you dear reader -- whomever you may be -- my life for yours, without hesitation or regret.

That is what it means to be a Marine.