How can I be lost if I've got nowhere else to go?

I have 2 1/2 months before I am activated. This is nice in a way, but a little frustrating at the same time. How can one really plan for their future when the knowledge that in 10 weeks, it won't even matter? And yet, one cannot really live with the reckless abandon that would be so appealing if there was to be no return (think: bucket list). I know this is something active military personnel do on a regular basis, but the circumstances are different for them too. They aren't leaving a job, its their job that's moving them elsewhere on a temporary basis... so the expectations to perform at work are pretty much constant.

So, this is a bit challenging for a reservist and I think everyone deals with it differently. My friends back in Wisconsin had perfect timing for their deployment (if that is possible) in that they were shipped out in the early fall, and returned in the late summer. Perfect for students. They had the whole summer, which is usually a blissful time consisting of a lack of responsibilities, to catch-up with friends and spend time with family and loved ones. Another friend (who activates today, coincidentally) quit his job, sold his truck, and drove cross country on a crotch-rocket (which is ill-advised, by the way, if you ever want to have children) for the month leading up to his deployment.

The thing is, neither of those seem like great ideas for me. Don't get me wring, completely blowing off all cares and responsibilities would be fun for a while, and it would be really nice to be at home for some extended period of time, but I also plan to come back and finish up my Ph D. My actions now will have consequences when I return. Of course, the opposite mentality would also be harmful, I should think. I could pour every ounce of my effort and being into getting results in lab and attempt to blunt the effect this deployment will have on my academic career. For whatever reason though, I just don't want my memories of "home" to come predominantly from inside the chem building...

I'm sure everyone would have their own priorities, given a similar situation to the one in which I find myself, but the bottom line is that I don't want these last months to go to waste. I want to really live in a way that takes advantage of every breath, every friendship, every second. I refuse to adopt the mentality that would guard me from meeting new people, making new friends, or even starting a new relationship. So while it is true, now is not the best timing and it is not the perfect moment for -- well, anything really -- something I have come to realize is that there are no perfect moments, and that even the best-laid plans usually work as poorly as any other. Its even written in Matthew 6:34 - "Do not worry about tomorrow."

While that verse may be as impressively cliche as my intentions to live without regret, it is always the application and not the concept that is most difficult. Yet, that is my plan. I will live intentionally and without hesitation, in complete defiance of this looming deployment, and with a sense of anticipation to see how it all works out in the end, when the dust finally settles.