The Heart of Joseph

I definitely didn't intend for this much of a break between posts, but since my computer stopped feeling like turning on (I know... everyone who I've harassed for having a PC is laughing at me...) I haven't really had much of an opportunity to write. Sorry.

Anyhow, I've just finished listening to a podcast from True Life Church by Pastor Mark Carr. I'm glad he started down this path, mostly because its been on my heart for a few weeks already, but I didn't quite know how to tie it in with the previous "podcast promise."

To start, let's revisit the story of Christ's birth. We're all familiar with it: Mary becomes pregnant with a child from God, they go to Bethlehem for the census, but there's no room in the inn, so the baby is born in the manger. Add some shepherds, three wise men, and a few angels and you have the makings of a very cute Christmas pageant. And many, many things are lost. This season, I can't help but think about the heart of Joseph.

Now, Mary is often discussed. The angels came and visited her, she was the mother of Jesus, the Catholics pray to her... I don't mean to detract from her at all. Seriously. But how many people even stop to consider Joseph in all of this? Let's set the scene a bit.

Joseph has recently become engaged to his beautiful, young bride-to-be. He's excited, in love, and the wedding draws close. However, one day she comes to him with news that must have been heart-breaking. "Joseph, I'm pregnant." Now, we know from the scripture that they had not had sex, and Mary is telling him that she didn't cheat on him, but that she's pregnant with the Son of God. Joseph didn't believe her (would you?) and as scripture continues on, it describes how, being a righteous man, Joseph decided to divorce her quietly. Clearly, he wasn't falling for the "I didn't cheat on you, it was God" line.

According to the law, Joseph could have had Mary executed for adultery, but he didn't. Despite believing she had slept with another man, he didn't seek revenge. Despite the embarrassment and humiliation this would have caused him and his family, his intentions were to "dismiss her secretly." How many of us would have been man enough to do that?

Fortunately, the story continues. Joseph goes to bed and is visited by an angel in a dream. "Joseph, it really is the Son of God. Seriously. Mary isn't lying. She is to be your wife."

What do you think that did to him? First, Joseph has to convince himself he's not crazy. For me, this would be no small task. Next, he has to go back to Mary, apologize for not believing her, and then explain this all to their parents. Just throw yourself in his shoes. "Mom, Dad, you know I've been dating Mary for a while now. Well, she told us she was pregnant and that I wasn't the father. I know we had discussed how I couldn't marry her, but I had a dream where an angel from God spoke to me, and so I think I'm gonna go through with it after all. Oh, and she's pregnant with the Son of God." Yeah... I bet that went well for him.

Lets think about this a little deeper. Joseph, a young up-and-coming carpenter marries a young pregnant woman. Do you think anyone else believed they didn't have sex? Joseph would have lost customers, his standing in society, his place in the temple... this would have been catastrophic for him. Not to mention being made an outcast from his family, his friends ostracizing him... Who willingly would accept this?

And then, there was the census.

Joseph puts Mary on the back of a donkey, 9 months pregnant, the baby due any day, and they travel 80 miles to Bethlehem. So, how would this sit with you? Your wife pregnant on the back of a donkey? Wouldn't this make your heart ache if someone you cared about was forced to endure this? To see them in pain, and be completely helpless to do anything except trudge along? But, they eventually make it to Bethlehem... and the city is packed. People from all over the region were there partying and enjoying themselves, there for the census. No solitude. No peace. Aching and blistered, still covered in dust and sweat, knowing his wife was enduring far worse than he could comprehend, Joseph walks the city searching for a room to stay the night. We all know the outcome. There is no room. They have no choice but to sleep out back with the animals.

Another word for "manger" is "feeding trough" and the place where the animals sleep? Oh yeah... back home we call that a barn. The inn keeper lets them sleep in his barn. Can you imagine Joseph explaining this to Mary? Can you imagine her response? I think she probably cried, overwhelmed with hormones, emotion, and fatigue, Joseph's heart breaking a little more as the tears run down her face. Helpless to do anything but put an arm around her shoulder and try to make her feel a little more comfortable as she collapses onto a pile of hay. For those of you who have never slept on hay... it isn't comfortable.

Oh... I almost forgot that she was pregnant. 9 months pregnant, precisely. As if things could get any worse, Joseph wakes up to a panic-stricken Mary screaming something about the baby coming. Away from home, away from any sort of physician they know, Mary is about to deliver her first child - the Son of God - in a barn. Joseph probably tried to run and get help. We don't know... its all speculation, but I think that's what I would have tried to do. Still, no help comes. Mary delivers baby Jesus, the Son of God is born in a barn, and Joseph's heart... what? Swells with pride? ITS NOT HIS SON!

The point is, Joseph is an overlooked character, like so many in familiar Bible stories. The spectacular happens, God moves, and we forget how incredibly uncomfortable the characters must have been as the drama unfolds. While this is one direction a person can follow the rabbit hole (and is, in fact, the way Mark Carr did... God often moves in the unexpected), I choose to diverge and discuss something else.

Fear. The story of Joseph strikes particularly close to home with me because it reminds me of my greatest fear: not being able to come through when someone I care about needs help. I actually wrote a post on this several months ago, and I seem to recall it being pretty good. I'm sure Mary understood Joseph was doing everything humanly possible, but it wasn't enough. And so, I wonder about Joseph's heart and how he recovered. Did he recover? There is little more written about him in the Bible.

How did Joseph heal his heart? And should this ever happen in my life, how will I?